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Saturday, 29 January 2011

*NEW* Q&A - 47. ShaySmiless: Have you been bullied?

Hey guys!

So back in September 2010 (feels like not so long ago doesn't it?) I held a contest/giveaway thing where I asked for people to enter by asking me different questions. I promised that I would try and answer a few of these questions each week in a special Q&A video, and I did start doing it but because I went away, and I haven't had much time recently to do any sort of videos, I thought that it might be a good idea to focus on some of the questions that I feel I can talk quite a bit about either because it means a lot to me or, like the question of this blog, affected me and continues to affect a number of other people. So, I thought this would probably be a good place to start if I'm going to talk about anything that's worth talking about.

ShaySmiless asked me 'Have you ever been bullied?'

The simple answer is, yes.

I think that pretty much every child is 'picked on' at school but there is a very fine line, albeit a difference, between being picked on and being bullied. For starters, being picked on doesn't necessarily mean that the 'victim' is actually offended - it might be from friends just making a joke about your hair. THAT becomes bullying when people start to make you an outcast in your day to day life about your hairstyle... as I said, a very fine line. It also becomes bullying when it's a constant thing. And I'm not saying that you won't be bullied by your friends, but normally it's the people who don't know you and try and judge you, hence they start to continuously pick on you = bullying! In my opinion, these people are ignorant.

It's not just being 'picked on' that constitutes as bullying, and I guess I was probably one of the lucky ones in some respects. The worst thing that ever happened to me was receiving a hate letter with newspaper alphabet cut outs - it said something I wish not to repeat, but the message was extremely hurtful and certainly scared me! But some are beaten to the ground for money, or just for the fun of it. Or even worse.

A bully will always find a reason to say something hurtful to you and yes, they probably do get a kick out of it. I do not know how the mind of a bully works, but I'd like to think that they go home and regret what they've done... but I can't say that, that is in fact what I believe. I do, however, believe that most 'bullies' are jealous of their unfortunate victim. I don't agree that envy is a just reason to make someone else's life an absolute misery, but I guess for a bully it makes them feel better if they think that someone else is feeling a whole lot worse than they are.

I was bullied pretty much all through primary school, for the reason I can only guess was racism. My skin is the colour of Indian heritage... Enough said, I guess. And this is still going on!! Even with all the schools having  'stop bullying' campaigns. And this isn't the only reason... homosexual people are bullied by homophobic's, just simply because homophobic's aren't comfortable with having gay or lesbian people in this world - so they make their lives hell. Bullies are probably some of the people who walk around saying terrorism is bad or war is horrific... Hypocrites? I think so... In fact, I know so. I don't believe in making anyone's life a living misery. No matter what colour their skin is, no matter what God they do or do not believe in, or what sex they have a desire for. Any person deserves to be treated the way YOU want to be treated.

In secondary school, it somewhat slackened but none the less it took quite a few years for me to ever forgive the people who made a large chunk of my childhood a part of my life that I really wish I couldn't remember. 'Til this day it still affects me in so many ways; I've never been a confident person and I truly believe that being bullied is a major factor in not accepting myself for the way I am. And in some respects of my life, it makes me think that I'm a failure for not being able to fight for myself. I remember my dad always having to go to my school headteacher to complain that 'she came home crying... AGAIN'  or 'She got hit with a chair leg in her shin and came home crying... AGAIN' or 'this morning my daughter woke up and said she didn't want to go to school because she was scared... I told her she had to go and she came home crying... AGAIN' . I'll never EVER forget my dad shouting these words at my headteacher while I was in the room, and I promise I will never EVER forget the people that caused my dad to do such a thing. And if it was my child, I would do exactly the same thing! It needs to be stopped!!!

As I've grown up I still have all these hang ups about the way I look, the way I dress, the way I walk and talk, or even the way I do my make up... but through the years I've performed music on the violin in front of an audience and I've stood up on stage in front of a club full of people on numerous occasions and I've been applauded. And, some days when I'm down and I've got all these awful memories residing in my mind, I think of all the times that someone's complimented me, or the sound of hundreds of people clapping because they enjoyed watching and/or listening to me. It really is a good feeling, and makes me feel that I've come out the other end of bullying, a much stronger person - emotionally and mentally.

So, if you are going through this I want you to remember that you are a beautiful person, inside and out and that you should NOT under any circumstances let these horrible people get to you. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to keep telling yourself that you are worth everything and more compared to the bullies who have nothing else better to do but get their kicks by making your life a living hell. In the end, you'll come out with a much better life than they have and ever will have. 

If you've gone through it, help as much people who are being bullied as you can! It needs to be stopped, and I know that if you've lived through it all you will agree with me. I wouldn't want my little brother to go through it, and I wouldn't want any other child to go through it. No one deserves to be treated in that way.

As a last note; I tried to forgive them and I guess I partially have... but I will NEVER forget these people. I remember their names and their faces still haunt me. But I thank them for making me the person I am today. Without them I would never have been able to accomplish everything I have and will!

Thanks for reading,


Keep Smiling!! =]

Friday, 28 January 2011


WHAT A STRESSFUL WEEK!! Oh my goodness... I was almost at the point of hyperventilating last night because I was panicking at the amount of work that has piled up on my desk. I have a crazy amount of work due in before March 7th and it really is getting the better of me! BUT... As from today I have moved into the library (yes, I am joking xD ... I haven't completely lost the plot just yet)... As in, if anyone ever needs me chances are I will be in the library as of today! Lol

My arm is KILLING me as well... I had to carry 2 massive textbooks home on the train =[

I'm gonna go now and have a really nice long bath, and sing 'til my heart's content ... because I just deserve to relax a little after the week I've had. I bought some really nice clothes today from New Look... and some funky jewellery ... I'll post some pictures at a later date.

But this is my official warning, do not ever do a biology degree!! Lol... Though I'm sure other degree's are just as hard if not harder... MEDICINE for example would be like an extra 3 years of HARDER! ...And to think I wanted to do that O_O

The best part of my week was well... getting to play some fruit slicing game on a friends iPhone (I refuse to buy one myself coz I don't like them... but give me that game any day HAHA) and I had a lecture this week on Brain Development... It was honestly the most interesting and fascinating lecture I've had since I started uni... I was actually sad when it was over! Haha

I think this is possibly the shortest blog post since I've come back from India lol... I'll leave it here! 

Take care guys... thanks for reading!

Chanel Hicken 


Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Miscellaneous: All you'll ever gonna be is mean...

Hey guys!

Just a quick blog post since I haven't managed to upload any videos to youtube yet. I have recorded them, but the software that I use to convert the video files isn't working for some strange reason. I'll see what I can do this week - hopefully I'll be able to sort it out!

This past few weeks I've been listening to Taylor Swift's new album, Speak Now, like craaaaaaaaaaaaaazy! It's such an amazing album. Every song I listen to either makes me just want sing out loud just to get my point across to that person because the lyrics in some of hers are just the words you need to put someone straight. It's really great stuff. And there are loads of great songs on it... on her other albums I could probably pick one or two songs out that are really amazing, but this album is just the opposite where I could probably pick one or two that I don't really like that much.
 ... There's one song that I avoid like the plague - Last Kiss. When I first got the album and the song made me cry I thought 'great song'... the times I listened to it after that and it made me cry each and every time I thought 'this song is never gonna get old - it's so great' and now, I just can't listen to it because everytime I do I can feel my eyes welling up xD

Anywaaaaaaaaay - moving on... I was meant to get a new phone today but 3 were being difficult, so I didn't. Which really upset me, because I've really been looking forward to getting a new phone. But as I said, 3 is just being stupid at the moment. Still, there's nothing wrong with my phone. Edward (my phone) serves me well so there's not really much point in changing it... at least that's what I'm telling myself. I was meant to go out today as well but ... well those plans didn't go to plan. SO, I'm stuck indoors!

And because I'm stuck indoors I thought I'd take some pictures, and while I'm at it, lemme show you the newest baby to my collection of babies who aren't actually human! haha

I saved up for about a year to get these beauties!! I got the midnight collection which came with two clips, the case and the heatproof mat (and obviously the straighteners) lol... I paid £122 I think... I thought I deserved it after a year of saving up hehe

And then some pictures that I took coz I got bored:

Lotsa Love


Thursday, 20 January 2011

Long time no blooooooooooooooooog... hehe

Hiiiiiiiii! =D

Happy New Year - even though we're already 20 days into it!

So... lots to tell you guys! I've just got back from a trip to India - I spent Christmas and new years over there with the whole of my family. Was so great to see my whole family over there since I hardly ever get to see them because my family and I pretty much go every 3/4 years. Not to mention, that this year was probably the last year that I'd be travelling there with my family since my whole life is about to change... and I'm scared!

I don't mean that my whole life is about to change drastically, but it's that time to - well 'spread my wings and fly out of the nest' ... and hopefully my wings will carry me well! ... It's time to stop relying so much on my family and learn to be able to rely on myself for my own needs. Because, lets face it, I can't rely of my family my whole life, can I?

So currently, I've been busy. Busy with uni, work and generally sorting out my life and planning ahead to what I think I might want to do by the time I'm in my third year (which is only really about 8/9 months to go... which isn't too long considering how fast the years are just passing by!).

BUT... I will be sticking to my youtube channel... because it's something that I love to do and I really wanna keep it going. It makes me happy!

Hopefully I'll have some videos up next week... I'll be able to film some this weekend, while I'm free. But I can feel it... It's gonna be a good year! ;)

Have a great day guys and keep smiling! =D